“Why does the sun go on shining? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don’t they know it’s the end of the world, ‘cause you don’t love me anymore?” The End of the World, by Skeeter Davis
We’ve all felt that way. It is so hard to fathom that the world we created in our hearts, in our minds, in our lives has ended. We had a dream! We had a future! A future we could taste. In some cases a future we had already begun. And now that future will no longer be.
It must be grieved, which is painful, and the sun will go on shining.
Understanding what went wrong and why will help create an evolved relationship the next time. One that can withstand the vicissitudes of life.
Do something different! Look back at what you had, what happened, where it went wrong and why. Did you see the signs early on? Did you feel the distance or the anger or the deception and ignore it until it couldn’t be ignored any more? Do you recognize a pattern of your own from previous relationships? I bet that answer is yes.
We pretty much are who we are. Our basic natures don’t change (a talkative socially outgoing child is usually a talkative outgoing adult) And we do things like relationships the same way we always did. And probably the same way one or both of our parents did. Left to our own devices, none of us would ever change. None of us wants to, that’s for sure. We really want everyone else to change around us. But that is not how the world works. If we want things to be different, we have to be different.
We have to change, and that’s hard work. What kind of hard work? Not so different really from any other kind of hard work if you think about it. You have to assess the problem, decide on some action and take that action. How? There is a process that can be learned.