It is no secret—relationships are tough.
No matter how many months or years or decades you have been with your partner, problems do come up. That’s just how it is. But, if conflicts remain unresolved there will be trouble. Negative feelings can burrow deeper and deeper until they become a part of you…a part of your relationship. Resentment is natural and automatic reflex. But that doesn’t make it good. (Except as a warning signal.) It is a nasty feeling, and can grow like a cancer; quietly, barely noticed…until it creates a painful, poisonous rift between you and your partner. The good news is that since it is an automatic response, it has been studied for centuries. It can be dealt with. Issues can be healed. Pragmatic solutions can be found. There are ways to channel the conflict and differences in your relationship into a source of intimacy, unity, and understanding. That’s what marriage counseling and couples therapy is all about.
The benefits of marriage counseling and couples therapy
Utilizing marriage counseling and couples therapy is an excellent way to help you and your partner to discuss problems and find proactive solutions, learn effective communication strategies, build trust in one another, and learn to support each other. It helps couples articulate and recognize each other’s needs, learn to fight clean, foster shared empathy, and directly leads to happier, more compassionate, and fulfilling relationship for you and your partner. It can transform your relationship into what you and your partner both need and desire.
How it works
For over two decades, I have specialized in marriage counseling, couples therapy, and love counseling. Honesty is the most important thing in any relationship. In a love relationship, truth telling is the true intimacy. Really. Sex is what gets people together and usually is what keeps people together. But sex, by itself, one can have without true intimacy. When one can be truly, deeply honest, without the fear of ever having it thrown back in one’s face, without the fear of judgment, then one can have an intimacy which, combined with sexual intimacy can create and unshakable and ever growing bond between partners. Honesty, integrity, respect. I think we all know those are the ingredients to any successful relationship…but getting there is a process most of us need help with!
For instance, when it comes to honesty, people quite often say the things they shouldn’t to their partners, and don’t say the things which they should. I help them understand which is which. That’s why I not only see the couple together as a unit, but I also see each partner alone…to find out what he or she is really thinking and feeling and wants. And then I help each of them bring that into the couples work, in a positive and productive way. I teach partners how to communicate honestly and openly, resolve differences, and create a foundation for happy, intimate, long-lasting relationships.
Marriage counseling and couples therapy is different from individual therapy. It takes training and practice and a practitioner who is comfortable in the space between people. It takes someone who can be fair and balanced and teach both parties to be fair as well. We all know well that life is not fair. Too often we have little power to affect change. But in our personal lives, in our intimate relationships we do have power. We can be fair, to ourselves and to those others with whom we share our lives.